Likewise, if we are thinking about something unpleasant, we will be slower to categorize positive words and quicker for negative ones. Still with me? Great, because here is where it gets interesting. Take a look at the graph below.
But they were also quicker to categorize negative words. Not just not slower—actually quicker! These were significant others toward whom participants reported feeling very positively and not very negatively, yet these findings show that at an implicit level, people hold both positive and negative feelings toward the ones they love. Note: The bars on the left side of the graph show the typical response using positive and negative objects, such as sunsets and spiders, where positive objects only affect positive target words and negative objects only affect negative target words.
Thus, people feel both positively and negatively toward those they love. This may not surprise you. Those closest to us, such as our romantic partners, invoke strong feelings on both ends of the spectrum—some days, thoughts of our romantic partners may leave us awash with love and admiration; other days, we may feel dislike or even repulsion. Feeling negatively towards your partner does not mean that you are doing something wrong or that you are in the wrong relationship.
Why does this study matter? Much of our relationship rhetoric focuses on positive and negative as two ends of a spectrum—feeling more positively toward your partner means you feel less negatively toward them, and vice versa. Our feelings toward our partners can range wildly from moment to moment—and it seems that may just be part of the wild ride of sharing your life with another complex human being. These were disliked people who played an important role in their life, such as exes or estranged parents.
Instead, it seems we hold some positive views of these significant others, even as we profess our dislike of them—even if we may not be able to admit it at a conscious level. Each participant had provided written informed consent prior to participating in the experiment. They were also given small tokens of appreciation for their participation. The vignettes used in the present experimental paradigm were adapted from a previous study that investigated the neural correlates of envy and schadenfreude Takahashi et al.
The vignettes were modified to fit the present romantic love context, according to the previous definitions of love Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Schafer and Keith, The people in the vignettes included one protagonist and three targets i. Participants were asked to study and understand the vignettes thoroughly and to imagine themselves as the protagonist in the vignettes.
Target A was described as a person of equal level of excellence and high similarity to the protagonist, target B as equal level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist, and target C as low level of excellence and low similarity to the protagonist target C. See Supplementary Table S1 for details. The PLS is suitable for individuals who are and are not in a relationship, and for individuals who have never been in a romantic relationship Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Aron et al.
The reliability and validity of this scale have been established in previous studies Hatfield and Sprecher, ; Fehr, ; Hendrick and Hendrick, ; Fehr and Russell, The experiment consisted of two parts.
We induced feelings of love toward the targets in the participants the protagonists in Part 1 Figure 1 , and feelings of hate toward the targets in Part 2 Figure 2. Part 1 consisted of three phases: studying the materials, rating on the computer, and completing the PLS.
This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 1 love. First, a fixation cross hair was presented for ms followed by the experimental stimuli Lover A, Lover B, and Lover C that were displayed for ms or until response. The top line in each stimuli-containing rectangle indicated a target person, the middle line indicated the domain of comparison excellence and similarity , and the bottom line indicated the specific traits in these two domains.
Part 2 consisted of two phases: rating on the computer and completing the PLS. This figure presents a schematic depiction of the stimuli and rating task design of Part 2 hate. Each trait was followed by a subsequent negative event, which was presented for ms or until response. The top line indicated a target person, and the bottom line indicated a negative event.
A ms inter-stimulus interval was interleaved between each trait and negative event. First, participants were asked to read a story and imagine that they were the protagonist see Supplementary Material. Each vignette involved the protagonist and three targets. Participants were asked to recall the information relating to each target through free recall.
Participants were then asked to imagine that they were in a romantic relationship with the target. We used E-Prime 2. After the participants studied the materials, they completed the rating task on the computer and then completed the PLS in both Part 1 and Part 2. Participants gave one love score per item per target person in Part 1 and one hate score per negative event per target person in Part 2, as well as two PLS scores before and after the negative events. In Part 2 of the experiment, the background characteristics of A, B, and C were unchanged; however, we created vignettes in which the targets betrayed the protagonist, for example by having an affair with someone of the opposite sex see the negative events in Supplementary Table S1.
Upon completion of Part 2, participants completed the PLS again to assess their feelings of love toward the three targets. We used several analyses to test our hypotheses. The scores from love ratings, hate ratings, and the PLS items were averaged within subjects prior to the analyses. Simple effect tests were performed when the interaction effect was significant. Tests of simple main effects were performed when an interaction effect was statistically significant. Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of love toward target A 5.
Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of passionate love toward target A Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of hate toward target A 5. Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the PLS score for target A This study used an experimental paradigm to study the relationship between romantic love and hate.
The current study provided support for a link between the two affects and insights into the influence of similarity in romantic relationships. We found that people have different emotional reactions toward different target persons in the context of romantic love and hate.
The relationship between romantic love and hate was revealed to be more complex than expected. First, our results showed that feelings of love were influenced by similarity. That is, individuals, who were experimentally induced to experience feelings of love, felt stronger love toward someone of the opposite sex who was similar to them, thus, supporting our first hypothesis.
Previous studies have examined whether similarity or complementarity played a more vital role in mutual attraction Berscheid and Reis, and concluded that the former was more important. This view has also been supported by research looking at mate preferences Luo and Klohnen, and quality of marital relationships Hudson et al. Previous studies had mostly recruited couples or partners who were already in a relationship, and there is little direct evidence on whether the similarity of the two individuals had a crucial role in the development of a romantic relationship.
A recent study Conroy-Beam et al. To some extent, they considered the equivalence in social status between both partners to be an important factor relating to relationship satisfaction. In our study, however, when the participants were presented with two potential partners equal to them in excellence, participants perceived greater love for the one who was more similar to themselves.
Relatedly, similarity also played an important role in mate selection. Our findings complemented the findings of other research in this area. Individuals who were similar to each other easily formed good impressions of each other within a short time.
Second, we found significant associations between romantic love and hate in the context of a romantic relationship. When presented with negative events with three different target persons, participants most hated the person whom they had loved the most previously. Therefore, love and hate are indeed related. Customer Reviews. Top Podcasts In Comedy. Morbid: A True Crime Podcast. Office Ladies. Adam Carolla Show. YMH Studios. You Might Also Like. Out Loud Media. Feathers in My Hair.
Solid Listen. Kara Berry. We are drawn to people who make mistakes, like us. Very few of us are stalwart and true percent of the time. Villains represent what we cannot and will not do in real life. You know why? Because you are going to shape and remold that as you exist in your perfect form upon the ruinous remains of the earth. Their reaction may be initial mockery, because how dare a woman strike fear into the hearts and minds of men who laud themselves as gods?
But the end result will always be the same: them begging for mercy and you giving exactly zero fucks. Yes, revenge is indeed sweet. But what they really mean is whatever you want as long as it fits in their neat, little box. And for a woman exercising her command, that box is restrictive as hell.
Destroy that box and the horse it rode in on. Light it on fire for good measure. Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. My own voice sounds so much stronger in my mind than it ever has in real life, and for one second I really believe it.
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