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Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Parents often use grounding as a consequence when teenagers violate a basic family rule —like their curfew. Grounding can be an effective discipline method if it is applied at the right time, in the right circumstances, and for the right length of time.
But if not, it can drive a wedge between parents and teenagers. Learn how to apply grounding as a consequence. Interaction with their peer group is a strong priority for teens.
Branching out from family and connecting with others of their own age is an important part of the transition to adulthood and independence. Knowing the importance of these associations, taking them away for a time seems to be a logical punishment when a parent is ready to impose discipline.
In many cases, it is. Fear of being grounded will often keep a teenager in line. But if the consequence of grounding is used inappropriately, it will usually backfire. Research shows that harsh verbal discipline, which becomes more common as children get older, may lead to more behavior problems and symptoms of depression in teens. Remember that, as a parent, you can give yourself a time out if you feel out of control.
Just make sure your child is in a safe place, and then give yourself a few minutes to take a few deep breaths, relax or call a friend. When you are feeling better, go back to your child, hug each other, and start over. If you do not handle a situation well the first time, try not to worry about it. Think about what you could have done differently and try to do it the next time. If you feel you have made a real mistake in the heat of the moment, wait to cool down, apologize to your child, and explain how you will handle the situation in the future.
Be sure to keep your promise. This gives your child a good model of how to recover from mistakes. Use positive language to guide your baby. For example, say, "Time to sit," rather than, "Don't stand.
Save the word, "no," for the most important issues, like safety. Limit the need to say "no" by putting dangerous or tempting objects out of reach. Distracting and replacing a dangerous or forbidden object with one that is okay to play with is a good strategy at this age.
All children, including babies, need consistent discipline, so talk with your partner, family members, and child care provider to set basic rules everyone follows. Pay attention to and praise behaviors you like and ignore those you want to discourage. Redirect to a different activity when needed. Tantrums can become more common as your child struggles to master new skills and situations.
Anticipate tantrum triggers, like being tired or hungry, and help head them off with well-timed naps and meals. Teach your toddler not to hit, bite, or use other aggressive behaviors. Model nonviolent behavior by not spanking your toddler and by handling conflict with your partner in a constructive way.
Stay consistent in enforcing limits. Try short time-outs if needed. Acknowledge conflicts between siblings but avoid taking sides. For example, if an argument arises about a toy, the toy can be put away. As they learn appropriate behavior, expect them to continue testing the limits of parents and siblings. Begin assigning age-appropriate chores , like putting their toys away. Give simple, step-by-step directions. Reward them with praise. Allow your child to make choices among acceptable alternatives, redirecting and setting sensible limits.
Explain that it's OK to feel mad sometimes, but not to hurt someone or break things. Teach them how to deal with angry feelings in positive ways, like talking about it.
To resolve conflicts, use time-outs or remove the source of conflict. Talk about the choices they have in difficult situations, what are the good and bad options, and what might come next depending on how they decide to act.
Provide a balance of privileges and responsibility, giving children more privileges when they follow rules of good behavior. Don't let yourself or others use physical punishment. Third Escalation: Four days. If your child retaliates by destroying your stuff or making a mess, then it is appropriate to add to the grounding.
However, it should be O. Try to give a definite date for the end of the grounding. Prisoners almost always know when their sentences will end, when they have committed far worse crimes.
Knowing when the grounding will end will be reassuring to the youngster, while still being effective. Be calm whenever you impose any kind of punishment and avoid any form of aggression. Keep in mind that grounding should be a removal of privilege not an administering of harm. Kids should not be grounded from school field trips or special interest group activities, sports practices, Boy Scout camping trips, youth group functions, band concerts, choir presentations, sports events in which they participate.
Never withhold meals or other necessities from a youngster during grounding. Kids should not be grounded from visiting relatives. For example, they should be permitted to go on outings with grandparents otherwise, you are punishing the grandparents, too.
Find something else to withhold. It may cause some tensions that will only have an adverse affect on the desired outcome of the punishment. Believe it or not, often what seems to be a knowing disobedience is actually something a youngster thought was O. Sometimes, kids even forget things, and the proper way to deal with forgetting a chore is to have the youngster do an extra chore for payment. Make sure the punishment fits the crime. Example: If a youngster keeps on imitating fights seen on TV and uses knives, forks, or anything else that is dangerous, then TV restriction is a good course of action.
Make sure the situation the youngster is being grounded from is something she really sees as punishment. If your youngster enjoys spending time alone in her room, restricting her to her room will serve to reward her instead of punishing her. Try taking a privilege away instead, or require her to spend some time outside her room. Once you have grounded the youngster, prepare for him to protest, scream, and throw a fit.
If that happens, ignore him, and he will soon realize you will not listen to his whining. Only on the rarest occasions should your child be grounded from playing with other kids. If they get into trouble together, or if the youngster is a threat or danger to your youngster, then it would be acceptable to ground your child from seeing the other child.
There is a point at which the grounding has the opposite effect from the desired correction i. For the first few days of grounding, the youngster often feels a certain remorse for the behavior. Whether they admit it or not, most kids understand why they were grounded, if it was an appropriate grounding. After a few days to a week, children begin to get bored and restless. Resentment begins to set in and what was initially effective, corrective discipline backfires.
Many moms and dads use grounding as a discipline technique with their teenagers. However, when parents ground their teenagers for long periods e. Also, when parents ground teenagers for a long period of time, they often give in and reduce the length of grounding because of the restraints it places on the whole family. The modified grounding procedure described below involves brief and intense grounding, but the teen is allowed the opportunity to earn his way off grounding by completing a job assignment.
This technique is most appropriate for older kids e. After your teen has completed the assigned job s , he should come to you so that his performance can be checked.
If the job has been done well, it is important to briefly praise your teen for the job performance and inform him that the grounding is over. If the job has not been completed satisfactorily, briefly provide feedback to your teen on the aspects of the job that have been done well and those that need additional work. Be specific in what additional work needs to be done. Try to handle corrective feedback in a matter-of-fact manner without nagging, lecturing, or becoming upset. Grounding is severe and means staying in one's own room or an assigned room except for attending school, eating meals, or performing chores.
If a family outing is scheduled, a sitter should be used so that the grounded teen remains at home while the moms and dads and other family members can still go on the family outing. Sit down with your teen and develop a list of jobs that often need to be done around the home. Do not sit down with your teen to start this procedure at a time when your teen is about to be punished. Choose a time when your teen is behaving well to discuss the technique and to create a list of jobs.
These jobs should not be chores that the teen is expected to do on a regular basis. These jobs should take a significant amount of time to complete e. The jobs should also be things that your teen is capable of doing. Examples of such jobs include washing the windows in the house, cleaning out the garage, and cleaning the bathroom.
After a list of jobs has been created, your teen should be told that when he misbehaves to the degree that grounding is necessary, this new discipline technique will be used. Immediately after the misbehavior has occurred, the teen will be told he is grounded and an index card will be picked at random. The teen will be completely grounded until that job has been completed to the parent's satisfaction.
For particularly significant misbehavior, more than one card can be drawn. It is critical that you not nag your teen about the jobs to be done. The rules of grounding should only be explained to your teen once.
Write each individual job on a separate index card. This description should include a very detailed description of exactly what is required to do the job satisfactorily. If some jobs are relatively brief, it is possible to combine jobs together so that all cards have a job assignment that will take approximately the same total time to complete. Remember to frequently praise and give teenagers positive feedback when they are behaving well. Using the modified grounding procedure, your teen earns his way off grounding.
Therefore, your teen basically determines how long the grounding will last. Grounding may last anywhere from just a few hours to several days. If the grounding lasts more than several days, it is important to check to make sure your teen is being appropriately grounded e. Close this content. Read full article. November 2, , AM. Story continues. Our goal is to create a safe and engaging place for users to connect over interests and passions.
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